December 8, 2004
Crime and Punishment Department
Gleeful Battering
The Gleeful Extremist is bitching about the fact that federal employees leaving work are perfect mugging victims because everyone knows they're not allowed to bring weapons to work.
I think I have a solution.
After 9/11 a lot of people realized that disarming airplane passengers had a bigger downside than previously believed. But what weapons to allow the passengers for self-defense? Guns were obviously too dangerous, and chemical sprays are very bad in such a closed environment. Knives would be safer, but probably still too concealable and likely to be abused. That leaves striking weapons. My first thought was police batons, but then I got the idea for the perfect patriotic weapon: Each airline passenger should be issued a regulation Lousiville Slugger.
So, do they allow sporting goods in federal buildings?
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