May 11, 2005
Bastards Department
Making Life Harder For Chicago Drivers
The busybodies in the Chicago city council have banned the use cell phones while driving. I don't use the cell phone all that much, but my wife is going to be really pissed-off.
They say you can use hands-free phones, but since the State of Illinois banned headsets, I'm not sure what that leaves. So if you want to make a call, you have to pull over. I guess I could get used to that.
But what if you receive a call? You can't control what you're doing when that happens. I guess I could try to pull over real quickly, but wouldn't that be dangerous? How many accidents are caused by people suddenly slowing down to pull over?
Or what if you're stuck in heavy expressway traffic during rush hour and the cell phone rings? What do you do? Pull onto the shoulder, potentially creating a hazard? Wait until you reach an exit, leave the expressway, and find a place to pull over in a neighborhood you've never been in and which might be dangerous?
No wonder the ordinance's sponsor had to use a parliamentary trick to bring it to a vote without warning the opposing aldermen.
Let's see, in Chicago you can't use your cell phone for the reason you bought it, you can't buy anything without paying a higher sales tax, you can't protect your home with a handgun, and you can't even buy a can of spray paint. Sometimes I don't know why we still live in this city. We should sell this place and move to the 'burbs a.k.a. the Illinois Free-Zone.
3 Comments
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You could always get get a shotgun or a semiautomatic rifle like an AR-15 or AK-47/74.
Those rifles would be hazardous to my neighbors. I live in a condominium, so in some cases there are only a few layers of sheetrock between me and them. As much as I enjoy shooting an AR-15 when I get the chance, I'm not planning to buy one any time soon.
Condos and centerfire rifles don't mix. Important safety tip.
A shotgun, on the other hand, is a fine home-defense idea. With heavy birdshot, I should get a lot of stopping power without a risk to my neighbors if I miss.
If the phone rings while driving consider maybe:
Voicemail