If you're trying to develop a script for a Hollywood movie, you'll get a lot of "Does it have to be that way?" questions from the studio executives. For example, someone might ask about one of the characters, "Does he have to stutter?" because that might make the film harder to enjoy, which would reduce the amount of money it could earn.

That's a little less likely if the story is about the stutterer, although you never know. It's not quite the same thing, but supposedly someone asked if Steve Martin's character in Dirty Rotten Scoundrels had to spend so much time in a wheelchair.

It's almost a game to make these up, asking about King Kong, "Does the ape have to be big?" Or about Dirty Harry, "Does he have to be so unpleasant?" Or about Superman, "Does he have to fly?"

Actually, that last one turns out not to be made up.

At least not according to this long and angry rant about the development process for the upcoming Superman movie. (Hat tip, Antigravitas) I'm not sure of its accuracy, but apparently the producers weren't fans of the comic book and thought the flying scenes would be silly.

Other ideas considered for the movie:

• Superman has a see-through suit that shows his internal organs.
• Josh Hartnet as Superman
• Punch up the action by surrounding Superman's Fortress of Solitude with guards (showing a lack of understanding not only of the Superman character, but also of the word solitude).
• David Duchovny as Superman.
• Krypton didn't blow up (yet somehow there's still kryptonite).
• Jim Caviezel as Superman.
• Superman gets his powers from his suit.
• Sean Penn as Superman.
• Superman fights a giant spider (later used in Wild Wild West).
• Evan Marriott as Superman (yes, that's Joe Millionaire)
• Superman dies, but Lois Lane bears his son who quickly (three weeks) grows up to replace him.
• Justin Timberlake as superman (to which Timberlake replied "Whatever it is you’re smoking, I don’t want any part of it.").
• Matrix-style Kung Fu action.
• Ashton Kutcher as Superman
• Superman has the power of teleportation.

There's a lot more if you have the stomach to read the whole thing.

All the time I was reading it, I kept thinking it was too bad they didn't just turn it all over to someone with a good comic book track record, like Bryan Singer, who who made the X-Men movies.

So I checked the IMDB site, and it turns out that's exactly what they did for Superman Returns, so there's hope yet.

As we head into the cold winter here in Chicago, I thought I'd post a few shots of the Naperville Riverwalk from last Spring.

Larger ImageWalking Along the River Bank

Larger ImageThe Carillon

Larger ImageJust a Nice Path

Larger ImageRiver

I'm going to miss all this for a while.

Radley Balko points to an AP wire story about scary police-state tactics in Miami:

Miami police announced Monday they will stage random shows of force at hotels, banks and other public places to keep terrorists guessing and remind people to be vigilant.

Deputy Police Chief Frank Fernandez said officers might, for example, surround a bank building, check the IDs of everyone going in and out and hand out leaflets about terror threats.

"This is an in-your-face type of strategy. It's letting the terrorists know we are out there," Fernandez said.

Balko sums this up nicely:

If the terrorists hate us for our freedom, then holy shit are we ever appeasing the terrorists.

John Ruberry, a.k.a. Marathon Pundit, has been posting pictures of his Nebraska roadtrip. Just follow the link and scroll up.

Today is Black Friday in the United States, the start of the Christmas shopping season. It's also Buy Nothing Day, a day of protest against consumerism promoted by Adbusters magazine. But if they're against consumerism, I wish they'd explain what they want to replace it with. If obtaining and consuming goods and services is not the purpose of our participation in the national economy, then what is?

They never say. Then again, nobody listens to them anyway.

I'm taking the day off from being pissed off about stuff.

Well, not really. I'm sure I'll still be getting pissed off. I just won't be blogging about it.

Probably.

Kitties!

Larger ImageBuffy

Larger ImageRipley

Larger ImageDozer

Curse you Tim Cavanaugh! Curse you for your slurs against Chicago's finest culinary product!

This preening dickless bastard dares to impugn the wondrous food of the gods that is Chicago Pizza! That he apparently does so based solely on the claims of East Coast and foreign restaurants that claim to serve Chicago-style pizza just shows you what a biased, empty-headed, lazy "journalist" Tim Cavanaugh really is!

Check out this block-headed quote:

A few more successes like this and the truth that pizza is a thin, fused pastry that can only be ruined by toppings may begin to penetrate this bastion of thick-crust darkness.

Did he really say pizza is ruined by toppings? How clueless can one man get? That's like saying that pornography is ruined by all the fucking!

A curse on you Tim Cavanaugh! A curse on you and your family even until the seventh generation!

I'm not a fan of Michelle Malkin, but the kind of abuse she gets from the liberal left is disgusting. Liberalism is supposed to be about tolerance of differences. Yet some of her opponents seem to feel that because she is a conservative, it's okay to hurl racist and sexist slurs. Disgusting.

Ogre repeats an old Marine joke which I'm just a little too smart to enjoy anymore:

A Sailor is relieving himself in the head when a Marine walks in and steps up to the urinal beside him.

After a few seconds the Sailor finishes, shakes, zips and walks over to the sink to wash his hands. The Marine also finishes, zips-up, and walks to the door.

Just then the Sailor says, "Hey Marine! When I was in boot camp, they taught us to wash our hands when we finished!"

The Marine looks at the Sailor and says, "When I was in boot camp, they told me not to piss on my hands."

That's a good joke, but I wonder if I'm the only one who wants to yell at the Marine, "Good! But did you touch your dick?"

That's because somewhere along the way I've learned that you don't wash your hands because pee is dirty. In fact, urine is normally sterile. The reason you should wash your hands is because your crotch is dirty.

So the Marine in the joke is acting under a false assumption and is, in fact, behaving in an unsanitary manner.

Does this bother anybody else? Or is it just me? Everybody else just laughs at the joke, don't they? It's just me, isn't it? I hate when that happens.

Stephen Littau has a good article on the insanely huge sentence received by Weldon Angelos, whose first-time bust for selling marijuana earned him a stunning 55-year mandatory sentence because he had a gun on him. He didn't shoot anybody. He didn't even brandish the gun. He just had it with him.

A while back I was doing a product photo for something I was selling on eBay when Ripley wandered in to see what was happening.

Larger ImageRipley on Stage

My current camera is a Konica-Minolta DiMAGE Z3. People ask me if it's a good camera, and I'm not sure how to answer that.

Some people look at it and assume it's a great camera because it's larger than those tiny digital cameras that everyone seems to have in their pocket. But the truth is that it's not much different from a pocket camera, especially in the way that counts the most: The sensor for capturing the photo is the same tiny size. (The size is designated as 1/2.5", but don't assume that means anything in the real world.) The main problem with a small sensor is that it has trouble picking out an image in low light. Either you need a long exposure and there's a lot of motion blur, or you set the ISO speed up high and there's a lot of noise in the photo.

There are three ways the Z3 improves on a pocket camera:

1. It has a larger lens assembly, allowing for a 12-to-1 zoom instead of the usual 3-to-1 zoom in a pocket camera.
2. It has room for 4 AA batteries, which last longer than the tiny batteries in some pocket cameras.
3. It has a hot-shoe on top for an external flash.

That last one was the most important to me because I hate the way most pictures of people look with the on-camera flash: pale, fat, and flat. With an external flash I can bounce the light off the ceiling and get lighting that looks a little more natural. Also no red-eye.

So, is it a good camera?

I can't answer that because it depends what you want to do with the camera and how much you're willing to spend. A top-end digital camera like the Canon EOS-1Ds Mk II will take spectacular 16 Megapixel photographs at lightning speed in all kinds of conditions. It will also set you back $8000. Without a lens.

In a year of learning about photography, I've realized that all cameras can be used to take good pictures under the right conditions. The difference between cameras lies not in the quality of the pictures but in the range of conditions in which the pictures are good and the degree to which the camera makes it easy to take pictures under those conditions.

I'm not saying there are no well-accepted differences in quality. Of coure there are. But photographers have diverse quality needs. For example, a small art-photography cult has grown up around $20 Holga cameras, which one camera dealer describes like this: "Soft focusing, full double-exposure capability, intense vignetting, and unpredictable light leaks all contribute to the Holga's incredible photo effects. Each Holga is unique and produces signature images and peculiarities of its own."

I guess the only answer is that my camera is what it is and does what it's intended to do. When I use it under the right conditions, my camera takes some pretty nice pictures.

According to DUIblogger Lawrence Taylor, the Horizontal Gaze Nystagmus (HGN) test is essentially a fraud. This is the follow-the-pen eye test that cops use to test drivers for impairment, and it's one of only three tests approved by the Department of Transportation.

Taylor quotes a recent study:

This summary critique demonstrates that it is scientifically meretricious and that the United States Department of Transportation indulged in deliberate fraud in order to mislead the law enforcement and legal communities into believing the test was scientifically meritorious and overvaluing its worth in the context of criminal evidence....

A series of NHTSA studies had examined the field sobriety tests in use around the country and determined that three of them were accurate, easy to do in the field, and easy to do the same way every time: Walk and Turn, One Leg Stand, and Horizontal Gaze Nystagmus.

I've never been pulled over for suspected drunk driving, but I've thought a little about how to handle it. My plan has been to refuse to do the Walk and Turn or One Leg Stand tests because the NHTSA has only validated those tests for people in a limited weight range, and I'm well outside the bounds.

(Of course I wouldn't say that to the cop: I don't want him thinking about why I know so much about the tests. He'll never believe that I was just curious and looked it up. My plan is to say something like "Stand on one leg? Oh, man, I haven't had that kind of balance in decades!" Then if he decides to give me the breath test, I'll just blow a straight 0.00% and be on my way—I never drink and drive. At least that's what I'd like to do. In reality, I'll probably just cave-in and meekly do whatever he tells me to do. I hate when that happens.)

Now it looks like I'd have to refuse the HGN test too.

You know, if Samuel Alito is confirmed as the next Justice of the Supreme Court, he will be making decisions about freedom of speech, the rights of the accused, the scope of government powers under the commerce clause, the elements of procedural due process, eminent domain, the war on drugs, guns, commerce clause issues affecting online trade, and a whole bunch of other things. It's all pretty important stuff.

But none of that matters. All we'll hear about during the confirmation is Abortion.

It’s an emotional issue for a lot of people (which makes for "Good Television"), you can count on both sides to show some really bad behavior (which makes for even better television), and it doesn't take a lot of research to do a news report. So that’s all the media will talk about: Abortion, abortion, abortion.

And more abortion.

One of my spies at Google has captured this covert photo of Google testing the follow-on technology to their non-web Publication Ads technology. It's exactly what I predicted:

Now this is kind of cool. At least it is for me.

I'm not sure why, but Rajagopal Sukumar over at Sast Wingees Speaketh has named me Unsung Blogger of the Week. He has posted my answers to an email interview .

Philipp Lenssen is reporting at Google Blogoscoped that Google has launched Google Publication Ads, a service that allows advertisers to place ads in print publications.

I wonder how long it will be before Google has those giant floating blimps with ads on the side like in Blade Runner? Google BlimpAds. You'll see.

Update: Really, I just posted this so I could see myself on Lenssen's new Forty Faces site.

First they went after the drug users, then those who drink and drive, then the gun owners, then tobacco users, then fast food... Now, behold as the Chicago Tribune's John Kass totally loses his shit:

You want a dog that weighs more than, say, 15 pounds?

Then you pay $1,000 a year in fees and licenses for the right to own one. The fee could be knocked down to, say, $200 a year if the dog is spayed or neutered and passes temperament and obedience tests at least two times a year under the supervision of state-licensed animal trainers who would certify the animal's behavior.

A thousand dollars to own a dog? Obedience testing twice a year? And I just checked and the Illinois Division of Professional Regulation doesn't license animal trainers, so there's a whole new type of business that can descend into regulatory chaos and protectionism.

This would give police the leverage necessary to immediately confiscate dogs that don't have the licenses (and shots), and the animals would be immediately destroyed.

Why destroyed? Why not simply allow the owners to pay a fine get the dog licensed? Why hurt the dog because the owner screwed up? This is simply mean-spirited.

If you don't like it, then move. Or socialize your dog. Most responsible dog owners do this. They walk their dogs outside elementary schools as pups and later as older dogs. The owners carry bits of hot dog in a bag, so kids can pet and feed animals, to establish children as a positive in the dog's mind.

I'm a 41-year old guy. If I start hanging around elementary schools handing things out to the kids and letting them play with my dog, you don't think that will attract some kind of law enforcement attention?

But if you want to keep your dogs forever isolated behind back-yard fences or tethered to posts, becoming increasingly aggressive toward children, then you don't deserve the right to have one within miles of someone else's kids.

I live in a small condo and don't own a dog, so maybe I'm missing something, but is Kass really saying that people with large and possibly dangerous dogs are behaving irresponsibly when they keep those dogs restrained in a private place?

I'm at a loss here. Somebody please explain.

If we're going to be serious about protecting children and dogs, we've got to stop the practice of backyard breeding. That's how most unwanted dogs are created. So if you want to breed dogs, you should pay a much heftier fee, say $3,000 a year, and be registered with a recognized breed club through the American Kennel Club or the International Kennel Club or other legitimate canine organization.

So now Kass wants to outlaw puppies?

At this point, if you're like me, you're waiting for the punchline where Kass reveals it's all just an analogy to gun registration or something. The gun control crowd is always trying to make it harder for individuals to get Federal Firearms Licenses for selling guns out of their private homes—what they call "kitchen FFLs"—so maybe this is a parody of that.

The other explanation is that Kass is a nutcase on this subject. Because if you add $3000 a year to the cost of dog breeding, you'll drive small home breeders out of business. That will leave only the large puppy mills—not exactly a source of safe, friendly dogs.

But no, he's not kidding or making an analogy. He just goes on and on:

The idea is to make dog ownership and breeding difficult. There is no 2nd Amendment for dogs. A large dog in a populated area is a social responsibility. And casual ownership is dangerous.

All pups would be tattooed and implanted with a microchip for identification, their hips X-rayed, with temperament testing. Animals without the identification could be immediately seized and put down. Any unlicensed breeder would be slapped with a felony and possible imprisonment.

There's Kass's creepy desire to kill dogs again. And I guess just because the United States imprisons a larger proportion of its population than any other country doesn't mean we shouldn't put a few more of them away for felony dog breeding.

I assume the ones who will shriek the loudest are those who value animal life over a child's life. They're selfish that way.

Oh yeah, that's why people would oppose such an intrusive, overbearing set of laws. Because we hate the children.

I don't have a dog in this fight—or a child either—but Kass needs a reality check. For one thing, for people with both children and dogs, the large breeds are usually considered pretty safe because playful children aren't strong enough to hurt them and provoke an attack. More to the point, it's immoral to impose punishing costs on all dog owners just because a few of them are negligent.

Stephen Gordon at Hammer of Truth (which sounds like something from the Colbert Report) worries that someday he may just have to Drive 55.

Guess what everybody? I just broke the $200 mark on my Google AdSense earnings! And it only took seven months!

Somehow, I just don't think I'm gonna make it as a full-time blogger.

Thanks to Marathon Pundit for linking again to my eminent domain articles.

Meanwhile, Brian Nadig is reporting in Chicago's Northwest Side Press that Chicago's Department of Planning and Development is revising the plan for development around the Sportif Importer bike shop. Instead of one big condo building, they're talking about two smaller buildings on either side of the shop. Oh the other hand, Sportif owner Don Zordani has apparently expressed interest in moving to a nearby property owned by the developer of the projext. ("City to detail new plans for Lawrence Ave. site." Not online.)

Back in August, I blogged about Lisa Ramaci-Vincent's response to Professor Juan Cole's suggestion that her late husband, journalist Steven Vincent, had been killed in Iraq because he was having an affair with his translator. She explained what her husband was really up to, and if you don't know the story, you ought to read it.

In additional to blogging the story, I also emailed her a brief note telling her that I admired her fortitude at such a difficult time, and expressing my sympathy for her loss. I wasn't expecting her to respond—she has a lot more important things to do than send out Thank You notes to online strangers—and I didn't get a response.

Until now.

Her email is about 400 words long and starts with an apology for not getting back to me sooner. She's been busy attending memorials for her husband and setting up the Steven Vincent Foundation. Then she thanked me for my note, expressed her hope that I've read her husband's book (In The Red Zone) and told me how much she misses him. She closes by asking me to spare a thought for Steven Vincent and his message.

I'm paraphrasing rather than just posting the message because I never told her I'd be posting the response. I wasn't expecting a response at all, except maybe a polite "thank you." I sure didn't expect a personal note. I'm a bit stunned by such graciousness.

Update: I asked Mrs. Ramaci-Vincent for some more information about the Steven Vincent Foundation and she tells me that it will aid the families of murdered journalists and stringers from the developing world. Unlike Western journalists, these people do not have large media corporations and life insurance to provide for their families if they are killed. In addition, the foundation will also help women living in dangerous parts of the world. She's still working on setting up a proper 501(c)(3) non-profit corporation and getting a web site up and running. Meanwhile you can find out a little more information at Kesher Talk, especially in the BlogAds to the right.

I missed catblogging last week, so here's a whole time-series of Buffy in her favorite hiding place on the shelves behind my computer desk. Some of you out there may enjoy them, but really, they're mostly for my wife.

Larger ImageBuffy's Favorite Place 1

Larger ImageBuffy's Favorite Place 2

Larger ImageBuffy's Favorite Place 3

Larger ImageBuffy's Favorite Place 4

Larger ImageBuffy's Favorite Place 5

I'm not a real believer in blogger triumphalism: I don't believe bloggers are the new movers and shakers of the media world. It's true that some of the bloggers at the top of the ecosystem can influence the daily news cycle, but even then the story becomes big only when the mainstream media catches on.

Nevertheless, this from Eric's Grumbles Before the Grave seems about right (background: Daniel Lyons at Forbes recently published an article slammin