What Shepherds Do When They're Bored:

(No, it's not dirty.)

(Hat tip: Lindsay)

An Interesting Way to Draw Cartoons:

(Yes, it's dirty.)

(Hat tip: Rogier)

One of my regular blog reads (I can't remember which one) just posted a clip from the (almost) straight-to-DVD movie Idiocracy. It's a comedy about the potential long-term effects of living in our modern civilization, in which our technology protects us from the consequences of our acts, drastically altering the evolutionary pressures that made us so smart.

Now here's a Fatboy Slim video that makes the same point with better music:

Someone posted this at Hit & Run a few days ago, and despite all the weirdness, it's kind of cool in some way I can't explain.

This is complicated, so here are a few things you need to know:

• The original 1960's science fiction series Star Trek starred William Shatner as Captain James Kirk and Leonard Nimoy as Mr Spock.
• Some fans of the original Star Trek series wrote Kirk/Spock gay fan fiction.
• There was an animated Star Trek series in the 1970's for which Shatner and Nimoy did the voices.
• British alternative post-puck rockers Pulp had a breakthrough 1995 single called "Common People."
• In 2004, William Shatner recorded a cover of "Common People" with Joe Jackson.

Now mix all that up...

I would normally save a video like this until Friday, but I have a feeling we're just counting the minutes until the DMCA take-down notice.

I don't want to spoil it too much, but it's Kermit the Frog following in Mr Johnny Cash's footsteps with his own very special cover of Trent Reznor's "Hurt." To quote Radley Balko:

Warning: Contains muppet nudity, muppet sex, muppet vomiting, and muppet drug use.

...and it's not safe for work.

Sad Kermit

At about a minute and a half in, there's a disturbing scene involving Kermit's, er, longing for an absent Miss Piggy, which is followed immediately by a moment of genuine poignancy.

Addendum: You might want to see the video before you read the rest of this.

Really, this was just an amazing production. It may be disturbing, but it was made with loving care. The puppetry is effective, and the videography was done by someone who knows how to use camera angles to accent the puppetry.

What's weird, and a little embarrassing, is that seeing Kermit so trapped in the depths of despair actually kind of tugs at my heartstrings a bit. It's a powerful image.

So far, my absolute favorite touch is the big pile of cocaine on a copy of Dawkins's The God Delusion. Just...perfect.

Ladies and Gentlemen, one of the leading contenders for the office of President of the United States:

(Click for Video)

(Hat tip: James Taranto)

This is the coolest thing I've seen all week:

Morphable Model Face

The beginning explains how it works, then the really cool stuff begins.

(Hat tip: Lindsey Bayerstein)

I'm fascinated by people who can do useless things very well, so I liked Grandinite's link to a video of a guy who's won a fast freehand circle drawing contest.

• Torture by CSI: Miami. I could only take 4.5 minutes. How much can you stand? Watch the video. (How many times does he put on those glasses.)
  (Hat tip: Franklin Harris)
• This clip from Idiocracy shows what the news will be like in the future if we keep dumbing things down.
  (Hat tip: VM at Hit & Run
• Here's an old favorite that I haven't linked to yet: Cows With Guns.

• I love these movie trailer remixes. Check out Scary Mary.
• What if Lord of the Rings had been written by someone else? Say, Ian Fleming, Raymond Chandler, or Gene Roddenbury? ("The Halflings, cap'n, they will na take the strain!")
• If you ever have a need for a dominant, a disc jocky, and a meeting facilitator, be sure to check out Ouchy the Clown.

(Hat tip: Alexandra Billings.)

• The folks at JibJab present the year in review.
• My friends Bill and Susan recommend this video on bathroom etiquette (probably not safe for work).
• Numa-numa this ain't, but everybody agrees, wait for the hat. The hat somehow makes it.

Someday, when lawyers rule the earth, it will come to this (no nudity, but adult themes). It's been a while since I was dating, but in some ways this would have been easier.

(Hat tip: Crimlaw.)

This is about what I was expecting:

Update: I think I speak "Standard English straight out of the dictionary" because I do. On what planet do "stock" and "stalk" sound the same? Northern cities vowel shift my ass!

Now this is a magic act I'd like to see live:

Video (Not Safe For Work)

I'll have you know, I had to watch it again and again to figure out how she did it. You should watch it again and again too.

• Video: Jedi Bush
• A useful quiz for some people out there: Jailbait or Legal?
• Video: Darth Vader and Emperor Phone Call

• Via The Agitator, JibJab's The Last Photo I Ever Took Contest
• From my friend Ken, I bring you Kitlers. That's so wrong.
• Way-cool video of low-flying fighter jets.

Here's some weird bit of pop culture that I just don't get. It's stupid, it's poorly drawn, and it makes no sense.

Video: George Washington (Probably not safe for work)

Can't. Get. It. Out. Of. My. Head.

I took the What Famous Leader Are You test. I don't like the result.

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Crap! You know, I'm pretty sure I've never built death camps or invaded France. I'd remember something like that.

Sure I'd like to crush my enemies. Who wouldn't? But really, when it comes to racial issues, I am very, very progressive...

Stupid test.

So then I slightly lowered my answers to the questions "I focus on my fantasies more than reality" and "I am on guard most of the time." Now I get this:

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

From Hitler to Lincoln in only two changed answers. I think the test is a little bit too sensitive...

(Hat tip: Blonde Justicee)

You're Fiji!

As calm, relaxed, and removed from life as they come, you're just so chilled out, it hurts people to see you.  Everyone aspires to be where you are, but most of them just can't put their stress away.  Little do they know that even you sometimes have inner turmoil and struggles!  For the most part, though, it's sun and fun for you, and that's the way you like it.  It's just sort of hard to get things done with all that partying.

Take the Country Quiz at the Blue Pyramid

Sigh. If only that were true...

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just not his own.

I first saw Chuck Norris in 1978's Good Guys Wear Black (directed by Ted Post, who may not be famous, but sure has been busy).

I can't really remember much of the story, but Norris was the man of few words we have all come to know, out to avenge something or other. The big fight at the end had a stunt which was featured in all the coming attractions: The bad guy tries to run Chuck over with his car, but Chuck leaps up just in time to kick through the windshield, killing the bad guy. (You can just barely see it reflected in the sunglasses of the movie poster.) It sounds tame by the standards of modern action movies, but I remember it was pretty cool at the time.

People have been poking fun at Chuck Norris for almost as long as he's been around. The latest fad has been to collect "facts" about Chuck Norris that show how tough he really is.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Looking back at Norris's first few movies, I don't think anyone could have predicted that he would be so famous that he's a part of our common cultural landscape.

Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

Naturally, someone has collected all these Chuck Facts into a website. This is my favorite:

Chuck Norris does not go hunting because the word "hunting" implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

There are thousands more.

Here are some Friday Fun Links:

• You know you might be evil if...
• I know you've been asking yourself, "What's Flavor Flav been up to lately?" Same as everyone else: Reality Show. From the picture gallery, it looks like he's sporting a more elegant and age-appropriate clock...

1. You've heard of Osama bin Laden, now meet his niece.
2. Women Behind Bars: Meet Suzanne!
3. Geek rappers on Saturday Night Live—I've heard worse white-boy rap.